Wonderful dark storm with rain and wind. Quiet here because we celebrated yesterday. the most modest Christmas since I was oh 20 or something and I have so enjoyed this Christmas. So aware of how much I love Steve and Amy and Arvin and Courtney and my sister Buffy and Randy and Suzie. I have missed my parents and Joyce and even Barbara this year reminders of the Harwood St years the years I obsess on when depressed.
The change is a feeling of sunlight pouring down on me from somewhere. The feeling of warm breezes, of money in my pocket, of wonderful light AND release from all the oppressive weight of resentment and quilt and remorse and hatred and anger and regret. Just lifted off and I can live again. How frightening when I am overwhelmed by emotions, the return of the going over and over the memories of living on Harwood St and Gloria and Joyce and Mrs Sanchez next door and little Amy and Barbara and Tyler and Elaine
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