5/29/2011

So this weekend I have read witty people making fun of the Pope and all of us Catholics People gossip about the priest/pedophile scandal as if this concerns only a small percentage of priests and admittedly the Pope has made things worse by stating in his White Paper that a child is someone ten and under (may God forgive this old fool)and that what caused these priests to fall into sin was the wantonness of the decades of the 60's and the 70's. I haven't read this white paper but if this is true I feel confirmed in my suspicions of this Pope-I was drawn to Catholics through Dorothy Day, Thomas Merton and Pope John XXIII; these good people emphasized the importance of living the words of Jesus rather than worrying too much over doctrine and they lived for people not for bishops and Popes.Since the death of John Paul I so suddenly and unexpectedly the Church has been moving backwards away from John 23 and towards the right wing of the church. This Pope says that there cannot be female priests because there were no females at the Last Supper.Even with these complaints I remain RC deeply committed although I haven't been to Mass for a long time not even to Easter services but that will change now although I don't know who will hear my confession-the priests that I loved are either dead or retired.
I realized with a shudder how deeply I have neglected my loved ones by not seeing to it that they were raised with religious instruction. I rebelled against the Protestant beliefs of my childhood believing that my elders abandoned me because I was a "bad girl" and made it so hard for me to be good that I gave up. I wanted to be Catholic but I grew up at the end of the old ways and felt too awkward to seek out the help of the Church although it was right there and of course I was too young and wild to simply ask Robert how to do it. At any rate the children beginning with Amiee have come up without religion at all and this has been disastrous and that and the poverty and neglect that so often comes in one parent families (crap that sounds so hollow but the words are trying to convey something that I have noticed and that is that children do better if they have a stay at home parent during their early years).

Religion and spirituality are important to me now that my sister is dead. All my natal family is gone now and my health is not robust. I have a mantra: Daddy, Mama,Grandpa,Buffy, Lady,Blackie are all gone now. And that sums it up and I am lonely to talk to these folks who taught me how to talk who taught me how to exist in the world.
More later now I want to rest and check in to the Indy 500.