Tuesday 9/28/2011

This is a time of challenge for me. We are already out of money. this is because Steve's job through the Dept of Rehab has not kicked in this year-the great recession hits our family-we were safe last year but doesn't appear that we will be safe this year.

Okay!! so what to do? Prayer and meditation. Trusting that we will have what we need. My biggest doubt is the millions of people who are even now wondering how they will pay for the electricity they have already used so that they can continue receiving electricity through their wires. This is the rub with the Positive Thinking movement-I need to think that I am more deserving than those who have not gotten the word. I have had this same issue with the Christianity that I was raised with. In the fifth and sixth grade we had a mad,fundamentalist, Christian missionary for a teacher and every day started with Bible study and discussion. One day I was struck by the thought of "well if Jesus never went to Africa and the Apostles never traveled there and no one no one ever told them about Jesus then would they be condemned to death because they had never accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior? The answer I received was, after a pause, YES they would have to go to Hell because someone , sometime knew about Jesus and didn't tell them so they all have to go to Hell.

Well!! overlooking the ignorance and racism in which I was raised I think one can see where I have the problem with religion all together and Positive Thinking is part of Christian religion and I balk when I consider receiving gifts that others do not have access to or they too would be receiving the same gifts. I have an issue with "being saved" and "doing well". Why me? And why not them? I know and have known that this is not because I deserve anything that others don't deserve.

Thursday September 8/2011

Whoa!! Long time no write. I do write to my friend Cheri on the internet and sometimes to other friends such as PatC and QOP as well. Still I thought that I was writing more regularly than this board would indicate.

Yesterday I fought off all manner of spider and little thin green worms that seemed to stand up to see who was disturbing their forest in order to pick berries in order to make a berry pie and offer up my energy and creativity to the Goddess of summer in gratitude for summer which I love and for which I never fail to feel a pull at my heart as I observe more and more yellow leaves falling to the ground. My friend Cheri says that autumn is her favorite but for me it is spring which leads to summer and I love,love summer. Not so much for winter which follows autumn. I am so grateful that our land has really three seasons-spring,growing/harvest,rainy. I was born here and although I grew up in Kansas I needed to get back to the kind climate of central California.