Septembe 3, 2010

Happy that I just now had a shower and gave the rent check to Houston. I was wrapped in Steve's blue towel which covered me well and he was surprised saying that he told Ignatius that he would be here around noon-oh well!! Ignatius may have said but i had forgotten if that is it-who cares really.

Watching the Good Wife which I love but I am watching a scene of people drinking to celebrate and drinking to the point of getting drunk is so damaging and yet this activity is celebrated in the movies and on TV and pot smoking is considered illegal and underclass and I find this nuts and one of the real reasons I remain on the outside of society looking in. and I imagine that this no longer matters here at 63 while I sorrow over my sister and Julie and Barbara and Deva Ki. All alone now trusting in my friends and finding out that they are not trusting in me that they in fact find me a lot trouble and would like to have me out of their lives or then like my sister who just wants to be with Randy especially now that it is discovered that she has lung cancer which is fairly advanced. Randy's girls obviously think that I am a complete grunge even though people here realize how dedicated I have been to Buffy. Really frightening how little medical care she was getting from kaiseer-drugs yes but no one to care even though her dementia and cough were recognized. Often when I called the office the nurses wanted to talk to her and would not talk to me. And i just got tired and worn down and to the family I imagine that the appearance is that I just didn't care.

I had the rockiest start today but as usual the kittens, now yearlings,and the plants bring me back. Bring me back to that place where there is always beauty and another tomorrow. Money will start flowing again.

Okay the uric acid thing can be corrected by 'alkalizing' my interior with fruits, fresh vegetables and some fish. I need to get rid of dairy and meat and sugar and exercise I imagine. That is for the gouty big toe. I need to keep losing weight with exercise and cutting back on the amounts of food. the demands of the gouty toe will help with the diet.. for gout,etc the big thing is drinking lots of water which I do anyway. and the foods that pack on the weight- the rich foods, the alcohol and meat and dairy.

Back later perhaps-still sad